Vision Statement
Ben Speaks . . . creating a culture where all people are valued and supported to be their best selves.
Our Mission
Ben Speaks provides positive channels of expression for youth, families and communities through events, education and resources.
Who is a BEN?
Are you a Ben?
Are you raising a Ben?
Are you teaching a Ben?
Do you know a Ben . . . an at-risk youth in your community
What is a BEN?
-
A Ben is unique and beats to his or her own drum
-
A Ben is artistic, creative, intuitive, sensitive and empathetic
-
A Ben is labelled with a mental illness or learning disability at an early age
-
A Ben is often medicated
-
A Ben feels like a misfit and is an easy mark for the bully or becomes one himself
-
A Ben tends to self-harm in some way as a teenager
-
A Ben becomes isolated and left out
-
A Ben is not broken
-
A Ben has one or many gifts to bring to the world
-
There is a little bit of Ben in all of us
Ben's Story
In a fleeting moment of despair, Benjamin Giovangelo, our beautiful, intuitive, creative, sensitive and loving son, chose to end his life on April 16, 2009, just six days after his 18th birthday. Benjamin struggled with Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) beginning early on in his life, and so did his family, both with him and the stigma of mental illness.
Ben Speaks Louder Than Words was born through his loss and today is a powerful voice in the world for change through the team at Ben Speaks Louder Than Words.
Everyone knows a Ben . . . an at-risk youth in your community.
Together we can support all Ben’s to thrive.
A Ben is:
-
Labelled with a mental illness or learning disability at an early age.
-
Often medicated
-
Artistic, creative, intuitive, sensitive and empathetic.
-
Someone who feels like a misfit.
-
An easy mark for the bully or becomes one himself.
-
Someone who tends to self-harm in some way as a teenager.
-
Isolated and left out.
A Ben is NOT broken. A Ben has gifts to bring to the world. There is a little bit of Ben in all of us.
From the beginning, Ben was given medication to attempt to manage his behavior to fit him into our current education and social systems. He received the message early and often that there was something wrong with him. He experienced much ostracizing and bullying. As his parents, we did our best to find alternative ways to work with Ben and, over the years, we had learned many tools to deal with this bright, sensitive, intuitive, and energetic child.
Our family suffered greatly with little to no resources to support our son. Over the years of raising Ben, although his life ended tragically, he made great strides through a combination of supporting strategies. Through medicine, therapy, yoga, breathing techniques, the power of intention, positive channels for the emotions, monthly massage and more. We created a powerful toolbox for change for our mentally ill son, beginning with seeing and focusing on his gifts. With this combination of support and shift in consciousness, Ben, between the age of 12 and his last day of life made marked changes.
Those major shifts include going from…
-
Being a student behind in school with many learning challenges to catching up and passing his MCAS exam
-
80 mgs of Prozac to less than 10 mgs of Lorazapan for anxiety and 10 mgs of Ritalin for focus.
-
Being overweight and low energy to growing tall and gorgeous.
-
Being alone, friendless, unpopular and sitting alone for over a year at the lunch room table at his high school to growing more and more comfortable in his own skin and attracting girls like he had never known.
So what happened? Well, in addition to his other challenges, Ben was a child who “brain-locked”, a term used by Ross Greene, PhD, the author of “The Explosive Child.” Dr. Greene is the Director of Cognitive-Behavioral Psychology at the Clinical and Research Program in Pediatric Psychopharmacology at the Massachusetts General Hospital. This book describes “brain-lock” as the clinical and physical response to the ability of the OCD brain to process immense frustration. Brain-locking adequately describes the thousands of times when Ben would come up against situations where he couldn’t get what he wanted and acted extremely inappropriately. He would literally fight to his death in opposition to controlling forces. Those of us around him had to find creative, innovative approaches to move through whatever issues arose on a daily basis. He wanted things to be fair and just.
Whenever something came in the form of force or “power over,” he was a counter force to be reckoned with and would push back even harder. It was very difficult for Ben and us as his family unit, stress-filled and intense on a daily basis, but we had made great strides by the time his 18th birthday arrived, so much so that Ben was finally making and holding onto friendships, getting better grades, and holding a job. Socially, he succeeded in becoming a kid that was loved after many years of “not fitting in.” He was on top of the world.
An incident occurred on April 16, 2009 that resulted in Ben’s suspension from school and from attending his prom, which must have felt like having the rug pulled out from underneath this one major success in his short life - social acceptance by his peers. On the day he took his life, we believe the loss of his prom caused him to brain-lock. We wish that this decision had not been made so quickly and do not understand why, given Ben’s history, we did not have a chance to meet with his team collectively before his sentence was handed down. If we had, I believe that Ben would still be here with us now.
Ben went home and took his life that day. His last message to us included the line “I just don’t see the point.” Resignation at so young an age, after 18 years of pushing against an antiquated system… and currently we have an epidemic of suicide amongst our young people. Since his death, Ben has been speaking louder than words to me, his mother. I am taking a stand because we must find better ways to support these gifted, sensitive, and exceptional children.
There is a lot that I still do not know or understand. But what I do know is this: every day is a choice and each of us, no matter what life challenges we face, get to choose life or death in every moment and that we are powerful creators without measure.
Through Ben, I have become a role model for change and a teacher, mentor and voice for accountability and growing oneself strong from the inside out. I live my life in gratitude for this opportunity to serve through the countless lessons and blessings I have learned in the raising and loss of Ben Giovangelo, who continues to be my greatest teacher.
With All My Love,
Judy Giovangelo
Vision Statement
Ben Speaks . . . creating a culture where all people are valued and supported to be their best selves.
Our Mission
Ben Speaks provides positive channels of expression for youth, families and communities through events, education and resources.
Who is a BEN?
Are you a Ben?
Are you raising a Ben?
Are you teaching a Ben?
Do you know a Ben . . . an at-risk youth in your community
What is a BEN?
-
A Ben is unique and beats to his or her own drum
-
A Ben is artistic, creative, intuitive, sensitive and empathetic
-
A Ben is labelled with a mental illness or learning disability at an early age
-
A Ben is often medicated
-
A Ben feels like a misfit and is an easy mark for the bully or becomes one himself
-
A Ben tends to self-harm in some way as a teenager
-
A Ben becomes isolated and left out
-
A Ben is not broken
-
A Ben has one or many gifts to bring to the world
-
There is a little bit of Ben in all of us
Ben's Story
In a fleeting moment of despair, Benjamin Giovangelo, our beautiful, intuitive, creative, sensitive and loving son, chose to end his life on April 16, 2009, just six days after his 18th birthday. Benjamin struggled with Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) beginning early on in his life, and so did his family, both with him and the stigma of mental illness.
Ben Speaks Louder Than Words was born through his loss and today is a powerful voice in the world for change through the team at Ben Speaks Louder Than Words.
Everyone knows a Ben . . . an at-risk youth in your community.
Together we can support all Ben’s to thrive.
A Ben is:
-
Labelled with a mental illness or learning disability at an early age.
-
Often medicated
-
Artistic, creative, intuitive, sensitive and empathetic.
-
Someone who feels like a misfit.
-
An easy mark for the bully or becomes one himself.
-
Someone who tends to self-harm in some way as a teenager.
-
Isolated and left out.
A Ben is NOT broken. A Ben has gifts to bring to the world. There is a little bit of Ben in all of us.
From the beginning, Ben was given medication to attempt to manage his behavior to fit him into our current education and social systems. He received the message early and often that there was something wrong with him. He experienced much ostracizing and bullying. As his parents, we did our best to find alternative ways to work with Ben and, over the years, we had learned many tools to deal with this bright, sensitive, intuitive, and energetic child.
Our family suffered greatly with little to no resources to support our son. Over the years of raising Ben, although his life ended tragically, he made great strides through a combination of supporting strategies. Through medicine, therapy, yoga, breathing techniques, the power of intention, positive channels for the emotions, monthly massage and more. We created a powerful toolbox for change for our mentally ill son, beginning with seeing and focusing on his gifts. With this combination of support and shift in consciousness, Ben, between the age of 12 and his last day of life made marked changes.
Those major shifts include going from…
-
Being a student behind in school with many learning challenges to catching up and passing his MCAS exam
-
80 mgs of Prozac to less than 10 mgs of Lorazapan for anxiety and 10 mgs of Ritalin for focus.
-
Being overweight and low energy to growing tall and gorgeous.
-
Being alone, friendless, unpopular and sitting alone for over a year at the lunch room table at his high school to growing more and more comfortable in his own skin and attracting girls like he had never known.
So what happened? Well, in addition to his other challenges, Ben was a child who “brain-locked”, a term used by Ross Greene, PhD, the author of “The Explosive Child.” Dr. Greene is the Director of Cognitive-Behavioral Psychology at the Clinical and Research Program in Pediatric Psychopharmacology at the Massachusetts General Hospital. This book describes “brain-lock” as the clinical and physical response to the ability of the OCD brain to process immense frustration. Brain-locking adequately describes the thousands of times when Ben would come up against situations where he couldn’t get what he wanted and acted extremely inappropriately. He would literally fight to his death in opposition to controlling forces. Those of us around him had to find creative, innovative approaches to move through whatever issues arose on a daily basis. He wanted things to be fair and just.
Whenever something came in the form of force or “power over,” he was a counter force to be reckoned with and would push back even harder. It was very difficult for Ben and us as his family unit, stress-filled and intense on a daily basis, but we had made great strides by the time his 18th birthday arrived, so much so that Ben was finally making and holding onto friendships, getting better grades, and holding a job. Socially, he succeeded in becoming a kid that was loved after many years of “not fitting in.” He was on top of the world.
An incident occurred on April 16, 2009 that resulted in Ben’s suspension from school and from attending his prom, which must have felt like having the rug pulled out from underneath this one major success in his short life - social acceptance by his peers. On the day he took his life, we believe the loss of his prom caused him to brain-lock. We wish that this decision had not been made so quickly and do not understand why, given Ben’s history, we did not have a chance to meet with his team collectively before his sentence was handed down. If we had, I believe that Ben would still be here with us now.
Ben went home and took his life that day. His last message to us included the line “I just don’t see the point.” Resignation at so young an age, after 18 years of pushing against an antiquated system… and currently we have an epidemic of suicide amongst our young people. Since his death, Ben has been speaking louder than words to me, his mother. I am taking a stand because we must find better ways to support these gifted, sensitive, and exceptional children.
There is a lot that I still do not know or understand. But what I do know is this: every day is a choice and each of us, no matter what life challenges we face, get to choose life or death in every moment and that we are powerful creators without measure.
Through Ben, I have become a role model for change and a teacher, mentor and voice for accountability and growing oneself strong from the inside out. I live my life in gratitude for this opportunity to serve through the countless lessons and blessings I have learned in the raising and loss of Ben Giovangelo, who continues to be my greatest teacher.
With All My Love,
Judy Giovangelo
BEN SPEAKS COMMUNITY PARTNERS
We provide a growing resource guide to support a whole child/family approach to wellness. Emergency, Grief Support, Therapeutic, Healing, Mental Health, Addiction, Nutrition, Expressive Art Resources & ongoing workshops in the Ben Speaks Resource Center for workshops & offerings.
Emergency Resources
Samaritans
Call or text Samaritans’ 24/7 statewide Helpline at 877-870-4673. Whatever the reason, you will get help from a trained volunteer offering non-judgmental support. Our crisis Helpline based in Massachusetts is confidential and free.
877-870-4673
Grief Support Resources
Jeff's Place
Comprehensive bereavement support services for both children
2-19 and their families.
508-879-2800
Therapeutic Resources
Horse SenseAbility
Horse SenseAbility offers therapeutic riding and horsemanship to underserved or at-risk youth and young adults.
508-744-6774
Healing Resources
Grow You Healing & Art Center
Holistic Healing & Expressive Art Services for all ages
Mental Health Resources
NAMI - National Alliance for Mental Health
NAMI is the nations largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for millions of Americans affected by mental illness.
800-950-6264
Addiction Resources
SAMHSA - Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services
Administration is a free confidential support for people in distress 24/7 and behavioral health treatment service and behavior health treament services locator.
800-662-HELP (4357)
TTY: 800-487-4889
Click here for a full list of Addiction Resources
Addictions.com
At Addictions.com our mission is to help individuals and families facing substance use disorders find the treatment they need. We hope that by providing a better understanding of addiction, and co-occurring disorders, we can remove the barriers to treatment many people face.
800-926-9037
Click here for a full list of Addiction Resources
Start Your Recovery
Support for overcoming substance misuse - tailored by you.
Click here for a full list of Addiction Resources
Live Another Day (BICOP)
Live Another Day believes in equal access to life-saving mental health and substance use resources. This website provides extensive information on the best resources available.
1-877-596-6866
Click here for a full list of Addiction Resources
Detox Local (BICOP)
Detox Local is a recovery support resource for those looking to quit drugs and alcohol safely. Find relief from withdrawal today! Detox Local is an excellent resource that features abundant information including mental health and substance use resources specifically for the AAPI (American Asian and Pacific Islander) community.
Click here for a full list of Addiction Resources
Southeast Addiction Center (BICOP)
2023's Top 50 resources for Black men who are struggling with substance use and/or their mental health
Click here for a full list of Addiction Resources
Southeast Detox (BICOP)
Newly updated for 2023, this guide features over 50 fully-vetted resources for Black women
Click here for a full list of Addiction Resources
Gilly's House
Gilly's House offers the opportunity for social, educational and vocational growth. The daily structured schedule reinforces a lifestyle free of alcohol and drug use. Transitional life skills including healthy living, social services, career exploration, personal finance and self-help groups, along with an opportunity for counseling and 12 Step group meetings, is integral to the success of this program. We prepare men to reenter life with a positive step forward; with the personal skills and community connections to continue to meet individual goals and live a successful life of sobriety.
Click here for a full list of Addiction Resources
Safe Coalition
SAFE is a judgement free community organization relentlessly committed to educating and supporting those affected by substance use disorder and mental health concerns across southeastern Massachusetts. Staffed by trusted, trained professionals and peer support volunteers, SAFE compassionately empowers individuals and their loved ones by breaking down barriers to treatment and emotional support in a way that inspires success on the journey to recovery.
Click here for a full list of Addiction Resources
Nutrition Resources
Natural Health Pathways
Natural Health Pathways is a center for total wellness serving individuals seeking safe, natural solutions for their health problems.
508-309-4063
Click here for a full list of Nutrition Resources
Expressive Art Resources
Open Fields
Open Fields provides children of ALL ages the opportunity to participate in theatre. Open Fields - Where Young Talent Grows.
Plugged In
Students learn to play their individual Instruments, form a band and perform live in our music program.
www.pluggedinband.org
